Imagination, visualisation, the Secret, affirmations, positive thinking, we hear about it every day. It feels empowering to know that we can use our mind to accomplish something actively instead of waiting for people or our situation to change. This is exciting news but don't fall into the visualisation trap! Let me share 12 tips how to avoid the trap of not getting what you want.
1. First of all: there is nothing wrong with your life!
2. Second of all: there is nothing wrong with changing your life either!
3. Accept: the technique of visualisation in order to invite new circumstances, people or material things in life is only working if you accept your life as it is. Yes, this also means the not so positive aspects. Your ego will always, and always find a way to show you what is not right. To escape from this is an illusion. Once you dealt with an obstacle, a new one appears. Life is learning and growing however there will never be a finish line or graduation moment. Therefore visualisation should not be used as an escape from reality.
4. Everyone can do it: you have been creating since you were born, only you did not know that consciously. Your body, your family, your work, it has been part of your creation process. By using visualisation you will have a tool to become aware how to create on purpose. Things have always happened to you for a reason, now you know the reason: you created them.
5. Your mind is stupid: your mind will believe anything you put into it. You see an ice cream on television and your mouth start to water? Pretty stupid isn't it? You know it is just a commercial. You tell yourself you don't want to fall climbing over a slippery mountain road and you stumble. He, you said 'slippery' and 'fall' and your mind took the instruction "OK, let's fall!". Knowing this gives you freedom to steer your mind to what ever you like to experience. Use it to your advantage.
6. Get rid of fear first: as soon as you can eliminate the frustration of the situation you are in now, you start to create something else. Why? Because our feelings are vibrations, because our mind, soul and body are vibrating constantly moving towards everything in life that is radiating at the same frequency. It is like turning on the radio: you have to search for the right channel. When you switch on the fear channel, all you get is fear. This is called the law of attraction. Like attracts like. You attract the energy that matches yours.
7. Change focus: define what you want and why you want it. You want to lose weight? Your mind focuses on 'weight' and creates... more weight! Phrase it in a way so that you can picture yourself. See yourself with a healthy, slim, attractive body.
More important is the question "What made you believe that you want to lose weight?". Fear that people do not accept you by the way you look? Jealousy that your friend is more attractive in your eyes?. When you change out of a feeling of lack, your wish will not materialise. This is the trap. When you think that you will be happy, successful, content once you reach your new goal, think again. You will not. Your ego will whisper what is wrong and the whole process starts again. Train yourself to accept your life, yourself and be grateful that you have a body, brains, food or shelter. There is nothing wrong with you or your life in the first place, remember?
Are you unemployed and you remind yourself every day how dreadful that is? First of all: is it that bad to have no job? Think of what could be worse. Now focus yourself on those elements that could be good about your unemployment status: e.g. time to find out what you really want, more time for family, excitement that you can start all over again, figure out how you can maintain balance in your life once you find another job etc. What is bad about being overweight? Society gives us endless lists. Find something that is good about your body: e.g. I have great eyes, I have strong legs, I love my hair, I adore the clothes I wear, I enjoy my food etc.
Then change your focus and change your thoughts. Your mind hears 'unemployed' and 'overweight' and helps you to stay that. What about "My talents attract the right job" or "My body is healthy and supports me". Feels different, doesn't it? This energy of enthusiasm and excitement is exactly creating the vibration to attract the weight and job you want. Once you change your belief about your situation, you change your thoughts, you change your feelings and then you will change, you will create a new you, even if you don't try, you are doing it every day ! Just become aware of it and focus on your blessings.
8. Write it down: the quickest way to transform a thought into reality is to write it down, the process of writing is creating. Words vibrate too. Ever read a book that felt true to you and your friend who read it also didn't find it interesting? Different frequencies. It happens to us constantly. So write your wish down. You are changing your vibration already.
9. Picture it: draw an image of your wish, cut out a picture from a magazine if it resembles your wish or make it a screen saver. Then review this every day. Your mind will think it is real and will start to focus on matching your vibrations during the day.
10. Visualisation: imagination is like dreaming a life you would like to have. Visualisation is filling in the picture in detail: the new relationship you long for: picture what you would do with your new partner, the feeling of having dinner together, the conversations you will have. Beware of doing this with a feeling of expectation and excitement not with a feeling of sadness because you don't have this now.
11. Relax and let go: find a quiet spot, sit straight, close your eyes, breath deeply a couple of times and start your visualisation for instance in the morning to give yourself an exciting start or in the evening before you go to sleep. Dream the life with all details and emotions that belong to your dream. Now realise that what you want to attract in life is heading towards you already, only you don't know at what speed. It might take longer than you anticipated. The more you can enjoy the process the more you will be drawn to your wish. So let go of wanting to control, like the waves of the sea: you can not control them but you can go surfing and use the waves' energy to enjoy yourself.
12. What if your wish does not materialise? Check if you don't block your wish with fear, frustration or impatience. Trust that your wish will be granted. And no, it is not your fault if it doesn't. Start with step 1: there is nothing wrong with your life! Only with the way we perceive it.
So avoid the trap. Visualise for the better not to feel inadequate or guilty. After all, if everyone knew how to do this we would see happy, shiny people all around us, which is not always the case, isn't it? Be comforted by the fact that we are in this new way of creating our world together.
Nobody knows what it is that we need to experience in life and certainly nobody knows how and in what way you will learn your lessons. When you start the process of conscious creativity, know that there is so much more than your mind and body. You can never imagine this.
You will not gain control by using visualisation. You will influence how you feel and you might change your experience but the biggest picture ever visualised is beyond our vision.
Just be excited that you have more companions on this journey, all creating with you! Be as expectant as a child, waiting for surprises to colour its life!
Marianne Korten runs a personal and professional development company Soul at Work in Amsterdam, The Netherlands. Corporate clients and individuals improve their conscious communication and creation skills through her expertise. Through coaching and training services clients gain greater self-confidence, balance, trust and skills to create the (business) life they want. Popular topics by demand are: public speaking skills, networking skills, career changes, mind-body-soul balance and finding your personal mission and vision. International companies and expatriates benefit from her background in the international meetings industry, of working with a variety of cultures and her personal skills as a certified coach, trainer, speaker and columnist. Sign up for her free E-Newsletter on: http://www.soul-at-work.com
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